We are all familiar with the concept that certain women are attracted to certain types of guys, some like blonds while others insist on tall, dark and handsome (chance would be a fine thing ). What is also true is that certain types of guys are attracted to certain women. Take my friend Lady M as an example. As the name suggests she has a natural effortless charm that always makes you feel like you are chewing straw and tying your trousers with bailing twine in comparison. In theory you should dislike her for being so pretty, smart and successful but you can’t because she’s just too nice. ( In blog terms think Annie )
Due to her general loveliness, Lady M attracts a lot of male attention. But the type of guy that she attracts is ALWAYS married. She doesn’t seek them out but they flock to her. Worshipping her in a ‘divorce the wife and pack the kids off to boarding school’ way. She is a deity in married man land.
Naturally over the years she has become very cautious in establishing that the boys she meets are indeed single, which can be challenging as there are a lot of DUD’s out there. In fact the Galway races seemed to be populated with little else, they were as common as Cryptosporidium and just as hard to get rid of. So when Lady M was chatted up late on Thursday night she was very careful to ensure the guy was single. She asked the usual questions, checked for tan lines and was satisfied that he was single. At last a decent unmarried bloke!
After the bar had closed, sometime around 6am, he invited her up to his suite for a drink. Lady M was suitably taken and decided to accept but had to do the emergency run to the bathroom for a pre-flight check. While she stood in line waiting for the girls to emerge from the cubicles like animals from the Ark, all 2 by 2, she decided to Google her new beau ( I told you she was smart ). A few GPRS packets later and there he was. A wonderful article about him, his business, plus his wife and two children, the youngest was just 4 months old.
Dejectedly she marched back upstairs and informed almost lover boy that she wouldn’t be joining him for a drink. He eventually relented on trying to convince her and instead pitched for a lunch meeting. Just as Lady M was about to refuse she stopped and said;
“I’d love to meet you for lunch tomorrow and will ‘insert name of wife here’ be joining or is it just me and you?�?, with that she turned on her heel and walked off.
To all the mobile phone companies out there, forget the snazzy ads for music and sport. Just build your pitch for mobile internet around this story. I think you might get better uptake.
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Assuming you are very drunk, in a dark room and squinting - a lot. Email me on Irishflirtysomething at hotmail.com
August 8th, 2007 at 9:51 am
omg, cruel world we live in. Lady M is a genius.
August 8th, 2007 at 10:22 am
oh I hate this type of man..its the wives I feel sorry for but part of me thinks they know half the time!!
ough! Is that all thats on offer for us …seconds??
being single gets tougher and tougher i reckon..
August 8th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Thank goodness for Google. Not only do they give great web, but despite the geeky image they employ some seriously sexy smart guys, a rare combination! Maybe it’s because a high proportion of their employees aren’t Irish. Lady M could have made a serous mistake with her male Galway hooker. There should be a website where all cheaters can be named and shamed.
August 8th, 2007 at 11:15 am
Epona - apparently there is a site in the states for that, don’t need it in ireland as it is so bloody small everyone hears eventually!
August 8th, 2007 at 11:23 am
Everyone hears eventually but the wives don’t seem to mind and a fair proportion of the other women don’t give a toss about the guy’s marital status. I don’t think much of infidelity, but if people must do infidelity, why can’t they be more like the French and have a wife-cheater-mistress triangle? So much more stylish than random drunken gropes at the Galway Races/Cafe en Seine/IFSC boardroom after midnight.
August 8th, 2007 at 11:43 am
Epona - totally agree, the French are just so much more stylish about everything. IFSC - tell more……..
August 8th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Great tale and well written. As for the advice to the mobile telco’s: genius. Can you imagine the ad they’d make?
August 8th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
‘In fact the Galway races seemed to be populated with little else, they were as common as Cryptosporidium and just as hard to get rid of.’..brilliant!.
BTW I’ve been casually googling people for years, I can’t believe it hasn’t caught on.
August 8th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
I calls shenanigans. Mobile internet sucks. Seriously. Badly.
August 8th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
73 - thanks, can totally see meteor doing it as they are a bit cheeky.
Isit - i am the google queen, wrong but true!
Yorkie - it may suck but it saved a worse alternative!
August 8th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
i google too..ive googles every guy ive ever met since i was bout 20 id say! scary thing is they do same..and when u google me im linked to winning a botox comp so i cringe…. how can i get that erased!! any ideas pc people??
August 8th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
The Galway Races are my idea of hell. But if any man of mine was headed there, I’d be stuck limpet like to his side. There’s a lot of flossies on the make, I hear!!
August 8th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
ya but if a guy cant be trusted unless u are “stuck limpet to his side” would u really wanna be with him ???? I’d rather be single…
August 8th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
I wouldn’t want a girl in my life who feels she needs to be a limpet. Create your own life!
August 8th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
What a fucking dirty sneak. A cheater and a liar. I’m sure his wife and kids would be happy to learn he denies their existence.
August 8th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
If oysters are aphrodisiac then limpets are passion killers. I’ve been in the company of limpet wives hanging on to their husbands and giving dagger looks to any single women within 100 yards and it’s pathetic.
The wife of the Galway cheater probably knows all about her hubby’s shenanigans and was well looked after by the hunky Brazilian/Polish/Nigerian gardener/builder in his absence.
August 8th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
well if she was..fair play I say
give as good as ya get girl!!
August 8th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Sarah - sorry,you’re stuck with it I think. At least they’ll know you have no lines.
NS - wouldn’t let a man go single there after last week.
Brian - some men need minding.
Med - his wife prob suspects, god bless denial.
Ep - hopefully wife was enjoying herself but with 2 kids i doubt it.
sarah - where are all the morals gone :-0
August 8th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
Good for Lady M - a smart cookie indeed. Never believe the lying bastards, they’ve always got something up their sleeve. Though I suspect Epona’s right and wife is doing the same with some muscular tradesperson. The middle classes in particular seem to be knocking up everybody relentlessly in some sort of mass bonking contest.
August 8th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
I have a friend who insists that if a certain thing is not to be found when googled it simply doesn’t exist.There is something about it. I always google my dates. And your story proves I’m right to do so.
August 8th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
I’m with Medbh. The slimy little shit got what was coming to him. Good ol’ Lady M. I’d have loved to have seen his face. Tosser.
August 8th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Nick - I wish I was more middle class :-0
Nina - imposing strict google policy now.
Emum - think he deserves far worse.
August 9th, 2007 at 1:12 am
Even I hate men after reading that…
August 9th, 2007 at 6:23 pm
Aw, that’s a nice lil’ linkage… but it’s just my internet persona. I do a lot of photoshopping. Really.