The “Festival of World Cultures” was on this weekend in Dun Laoghaire and hats off to whoever organised it, getting sunshine was a stroke of genius. Another cunning ploy was the “Fun Fair”. It acted as a giant knacker fly trap. Attracted by the bright lights and opportunities to win over sized toys by shooting and hitting stuff (hopefully taking longer than 89 seconds*) the local skobies flocked to the fair and stayed clear of the festivities in the village.
Even if you didn’t know the international flavour of the festival any crowd around the street performers were an instant give-away. Instead of the usual rigid semi-circle stance and attempt to move away before obliged to give money, the audiences were dancing, singing and cheering – while sober. Definitely not Irish.
The street vendors were cleaning up as clueless Southsiders lined up to buy authentic international wares for vastly inflated prices. My shopping went as follows:
Large taster of Peruvian rum followed by buying Chinese necklace which probably cost around 6c to make, but being the capitalist pig that I am and wanting to show my love of culture I paid around a 1000 times that. Next was some Tiger beer with lunch, followed by purchasing an authentic Bonsai tree, (am taking bets how long it lasts). Finally I sampled some Guatemalan punch and then proceeded to buy a hammock, but not any ordinary hammock this was a travel parachute hammock - suggestions required for what the hell I can do with that.
At night all the pub and clubs were jammers and jamming. The Dalkey crew undertook their annual migration to Dun Laoghaire. A few missed out because they forgot to get their visa and tetanus shots in time, but the majority made it. You could barely move in Bodega aka 40ft for misplaced vowels and screams of Ciao. “Dan‿ and “Ross‿ capture it much better than I could, but essentially the conversations went like this … OH MY GOD blah blah TOT-TA-LY blah blah SOoo COMMON blah blah DADDY SAID blah LATER etc.
After sufficient local culture I ambled my way home, proud of myself for staying almost sober. Suddenly I heard an unbelievable sound, like a mermaid siren it drew me in. One of the yacht clubs was having a disco and they were playing A SLOW SET yes you read right – A SLOW SET. Not any ordinary slow set this one was Karaoke. Well what’s a gal to do? The two essentials of any single girl’s life, ‘Slow Sets’ and an opportunity to sing “I will survive”.
The rest of the night is unsurprisingly a bit of a singing blur, but I didn’t manage to taste any real international culture, if you know what I mean. Well it’s a bit hard to chat someone up with a Bonsai tree under one arm and a hammock in the other.
*famous local boxer got knocked out in 89 seconds when defending his title this weekend in Dublin.
Assuming you are very drunk, in a dark room and squinting - a lot. Email me on Irishflirtysomething at hotmail.com
August 26th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
I wish you luck with the bonzai. I got one a couple of months ago. It had three main branches, and looked lovely.
The dog knocked it off the window ledge and it is now missing its middle bit and is looking distinctly miserable.
Is it now a bo__ai tree?
August 27th, 2007 at 5:09 am
If you had a smaller hammock or a bigger tree you could hang one on the other. See, Flirty - in this case, size does matter.
August 27th, 2007 at 8:51 am
Slow sets - aw it’s been years since I’ve happened upon one. Are we still allowed to call them the ‘erection section’?
August 27th, 2007 at 8:51 am
GD - not sure actually, am guessing your spelling is correct.
Primal - lol, love your logic!
August 27th, 2007 at 9:57 am
lol. excellent post flirty. i see your “quiet” weekend was about as quiet as mine. i’m going to have to start locking myself in i think.
my broth-in-law has a couple of bonsai trees, my niece calls them “daddy’s funny little trees” . . they just remind mo of karate kid!
August 27th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Nothing like a fun fair alright to draw in the Celtic-jersey-wearing, santa-ponza-holidaying brigade.
Heard a charming story on saturday night about a previous fight of said Dublin Boxer. A quite well to do couple decided to go along and soak up the atmosphere etc. So shocked were they though by the amount of celtic jerseys and common knackeragua they found themselves in the midst of, they were in fear of their lives, and scurried off home before the fight had even begun.
August 27th, 2007 at 11:05 pm
Towny - maybe next weekend…
Yorkie - well in fairness what were they expecting?
August 28th, 2007 at 5:01 pm
Taking into account the wide-spread fashion for organic (mainly tiny dog shaped) accessories on celebrity market you could seriously consider setting a trend by accessorizing with a dainty bonsai tree on regular basis.
Just think of the benefit - will harmonize with every single outfit, will not express the need to crap just as you step onto red carpet and does not demand any exotic delicacies for sustenance!
And no squirming.
August 28th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
Love the class hatred in the opening lines of your post about Dun Laoghaire. ‘knacker fly trap’ - how hilarious. Sorry, I meant ‘how abhorrent’.
August 28th, 2007 at 8:56 pm
Hee, am giggling. I missed the festival but Bjarni was there, putting the Icelandicness into Dun Loaghire-however-it’s-spelt.
August 28th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
I didn’t know you had skobies in Dun Laoghaire. Do they say “Rain Debate”?
August 28th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
As token-English-person-in-my-circle, I reckon that Dalkeyites sound very posh-English. Is that on purpose or by accident do you think? Sometimes if I close my eyes, I can imagine I’m back in Marlow, dahling. It’s, like, totally, like, hideous.
August 29th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Dalkey is the last bastion of the Pale, that’s why they sound so posh English.
August 29th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
am appalled at the class discrimination…. and flirty is meant to be from the whest… as for Yorkie… it’s a good job you’re reply thingy checks for swear words… so my reply of the other night did not get posted
C’mon the hoops
August 31st, 2007 at 4:50 pm
I am dying to hear the latest about your sexy doctor housemate! I may have missed a post but I still don’t know if he is straight or gay?? And has he wandered round in just his pants yet?
August 31st, 2007 at 4:54 pm
I am dying to hear the latest about your sexy doctor housemate!
I may have missed a post but I still don’t know if he is straight or gay?? And has he wandered round in just his pants yet?
Your comments don’t like me today…
August 31st, 2007 at 4:54 pm
oops
September 1st, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Ahem, that’s enough about the posh English, I might get offended. Wot about the Irish riff-raff?
Where you went wrong Flirty is you should have got the bonsai hammock to go with the bonsai tree, not the full-size one. And maybe a bonsai dog (Bonzo?) to sprawl in the hammock. Small but perfectly formed, I say.