The Ireland / Namibia game should have been like a drag race between my mum’s Yaris and a Maserati. Namibia is bottom of the rankings in the Rugby World Cup, plus their players aren’t professional, so most were working the day job until they flew to France. Pundits were discussing cricket like scores by the end of the game, they were wrong.
Mid-way through the game my mind started to wander, (somewhere during the 47th scrum and 142nd mishandle) with the prospect of Brian sticking his arm between my legs and grabbing my top. Suddenly I had an extremely cunning plan - my new job. I’m going to write to the IRFU and volunteer to be the “Kiss Of Life Girl�.
Every time someone gets knocked down and needs to be resuscitated I can run onto the pitch and administer the required mouth to mouth. Now I know the sweat and drool may put some people off, but I figure the guys will be passed out and therefore won’t see me salivating with lust.
However distracted I was by the prospect of giving Brian the snog of life, it was nothing compared to how pre-occupied Ronan O’Gara appeared to be during the game. (although not for the same reason I hope). One can only assume that he was diverted by trying to keep track of his 47 product endorsements, while wondering how short the odds now are on New Zealand winning. Whatever the reason his mind certainly wasn’t on the game and he wasn’t alone. Half-time would have been better spent introducing the forwards to each other as they appeared never to have met before let alone played together before.
By the end the Irish Maserati had no oil, only half a tank of petrol, rust everywhere and 4 bald tires. Granted we got over the line first, but it took more push than drive.
Assuming you are very drunk, in a dark room and squinting - a lot. Email me on Irishflirtysomething at hotmail.com
September 10th, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Couldn’t agree more Flirty. About the rugby that is, Brian sticking his arm between my legs isn’t my idea of a good time. With quality assessment like that we could do with you on the Fear of God. We’re desperate for a bit of quality!
September 10th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Swiss - thanks, am I dim, what is fear of god?
September 10th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Okay. I changed my mind about not commenting in protest at today’s downtime. But now I can’t think of anything to say … except you need to find out about the “fear of God” quickly, Flirty, or you’ll never shift a rugger bugger.
September 10th, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Primal - god bless google, very impressive site.
September 10th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
You’re not seriously salivating over rugby players Flirty? I thought they were all terminally unreconstructed blokes who liked their women tame and submissive? Or am I out-of-date here? Though I’m happy for you to be my designated Kiss of Life Girl anytime I’m having a heart attack….
September 10th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Nick - you are very kind. Re the Rugby, I can do kind and submissive, sometimes.
September 11th, 2007 at 9:21 am
Off topic, but seeing as how it appears Blogorrah is never coming back, where the hell do people go to post about how rubbish things in Ireland can be? SERIOUS gap in the market here.
Seriously, if you know anywhere catering to this type of thing I would be much obliged.
September 11th, 2007 at 11:14 am
It was so depressing - I invaded my Sky subscribing friend’s house dressed in my Irish rugby shirt and took over the telly, and had to slink away quietly at the end to the sound of my so-called friends chuckling and pointing out at least they won the football World Cup…
September 11th, 2007 at 11:53 am
Tis sad, Flirty. Both Argentina and France will have at least 40 point wins over Namibia.
September 11th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
mmn - good point, met John out at about a weekend but no update when it will launch again.
Caro - the shame……
Conan - France may struggle hopefully ( unlikely I know )
September 11th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
It was grim Sunday viewing for sure. I was hoping the wold just put Corrie back on….