Feb
03
Bloody hell I take a week off and blog world goes mad with award fever - amazingly I even feature in some of them; Best Personal Blog, Best Blog, Most Humorous Post, and Best Newcomer - So a super big thanks to Damien & Co. for organising and whoever was nice enough to nominate me. But enough ego tripping and back to the real world of blogging.
Top 5 reasons for when you know you are past it:
1: You have to wait your turn to be served at the bar.
2: When applying make-up your niece asks if you are trying to paint over the lines.
3: Waiters start referring to you as ‘Madam’.
4: People guess your age even after they have added a few safety years.
5: Your Italian ski instructor DOESN’T hit on you.
Assuming you are very drunk, in a dark room and squinting - a lot. Email me on Irishflirtysomething at hotmail.com
February 4th, 2008 at 1:42 am
Next time somebody calls me Madam I’m going to say “Do I look like I run a brothel?”
February 4th, 2008 at 8:50 am
6. You’ve more wrinkles than inches.
February 4th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Number One? Seriously? I’ve had that problem since I was legally allowed drink. Always assumed it was because my tits weren’t hanging out like the rest of the clientele.
February 4th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Epona - may be I do look like that?
Primal - nooooooo
Deb - all about the tit tops!
February 4th, 2008 at 11:21 am
7. A man in his early twenties tells you you’re pretty for an old one !
February 4th, 2008 at 11:58 am
I always had to wait my turn at the bar, I thought it was because I was the wrong gender. However, I used to get oulfellas offering to buy me drinks which I regarded as a nuisance. Doesn’t happen anymore. I was in Cafe en Seine a while back and a lardy oulfella pushed me out of the way and got served before me even though I had been waiting for ages. I accidentally-on-purpose gave him an unmerciful dig in the belly and a hand chop a few inches below, unsettling him and he stumbled on top of the people beside him, spilling their drinks. When he turned on me I smiled sweetly, apologised and said loudly “if you hadn’t pushed me I wouldn’t have lost my balance and knocked against you” giving him a sly kick in the shins for good measure. There wasn’t a thing he could do! I know you’re supposed to behave in a more civilised manner as you get older, but the situation above was an exception. I think as we get older us gals start to discover our Boudicca/Granuaile warrior queen instinct!
February 4th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Towny - I may never go out again when that happens
Epona - remind me not to barge in front of you - ever!
February 4th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
yo sweet cheeks you want some wine n that? [wink wink]
would that be better?
cause I’ll do that if that is what you want from your waiter….
February 4th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Flirty, I don’t normally behave like that, but when a fat, smelly, ugly, five-foot-nothing fifty-something oulfella pushes past me to get to the bar I’m not going to take it lying down. Bloomin cheek!
February 4th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Congratulations on the nominations but I am not surprised, your blog is extremely deserving!
February 4th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
good luck on the nomination, and didn’t you know sugar mammys are the new sugar daddies, go have some fun
February 4th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Clearly your ski instructor was gay. In my experience one is never too old to be flirted with by an Italian man.
Just this week I stopped being referred to as ’signorina’and am now ’signora’. I have to admit I am a little saddened by this.
February 4th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
8. People start telling you about all the wonderful benefits of plastic surgery.
February 4th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Man - knew you would have something good to say
Epona - lucky that’s all he got.
Yvonne - thanks you are very kind but they are LONG lists so won’t get too carried away!
roy - sugar mammy, the shame!
red - he did flirt with everyone else - bad news on the title upgrade.
nick - they may need some themselves if they try that!
February 4th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
The first time I was called Ma’am in an American shop I actually looked behind me to see who the sales assistant was talking to.
On the other hand,I got IDed in the supermarket the other week and it was fab. I drove home grinning like a lunatic.
February 4th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Oh god, I hate it when they call me Madam…
February 4th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Well hurrah for all your blog fame m’dear.
I have a cold at the moment and spoke to phone company about something - they replied “thank you sir”.
Gutted doesn’t cover it.
February 5th, 2008 at 3:57 am
You’re sure being called Madam wasn’t something other than an age thing, say for example it was referring to your, em, character, and as such was the beginnings of a beautiful flirtation?
That’s how I usually start.
And end.
February 5th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
I just looked at the blog nominations - didn’t Flirty do well! That’s better than any number of Valentines, but I’m sure she’ll get loads of those too. Oh, and breakfast in bed with a red rose in a vase from Dr McRide!
February 5th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Congrats on the nominations Flirty! I was reading this article from a male counterpart to you and was wondering what you thought? A bit harsh?
http://blogs.smh.com.au/lifestyle/allmenareliars/archives/2008/02/a_reply_to_the_london_times.html
There are some nasty comments on the original Times article (from both men and women).
February 6th, 2008 at 9:13 am
8. You sigh audibly when you sit in a comfortable chair.
Well done on the multiple nominations.
February 6th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Meeeooww! There must be something very nasty in the water in England to make all those Times readers write such horrible things.
February 6th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Jeez. I wonder if it ever dawned on Laura Nolan that she’s just ugly? Heh. I do sympathise, Flirts. I was pondering this very dilemma just the other day when I was whistled at by a lorry driver. I was actually pleased, and then it dawned on me: a few years ago I would have been all indignant. How time flies, eh?