The one down side of my booty call is the crowd he hangs around. At 11pm all the waxworks came storming into the party loudly proclaiming that mine was one of 72 events they were attending that night. Inevitably I got stuck in the kitchen with Mme Tussurd in some weird Newtonian law of attracting things you least want to be with. In a desperate bid to escape I started admiring her watch so I could cue my “Oh is that the time - I’m meant to be anywhere else but here” line. Sadly I never got that far:
“So kind of you to say, it’s FAB-U-LOUS, I just love my watch” Mme T
“Yes, it’s certainly unusually, who’d have thought you could fit that many diamonds on the second hand” me
“Well actually, it’s a very exclusive French make, you probably haven’t heard of it” Mme T
(what with me being from the country and only knowing brands of potatoes)
“Actually it does look very familiar” me
“Really, I wouldn’t think you’d know Cartier……” Mme T
Her patronizing tone was brave considering the number of knives in the kitchen.
“Well actually I did look at Cartier watches, but thought they appeared a bit common so I got a Patek* instead,” I responded while pulling up my sleeve to display my little Platinum number.
Naturally I didn’t mention that mine came via China. I figured that someone with so little taste in watches couldn’t possibly tell the difference.
Assuming you are very drunk, in a dark room and squinting - a lot. Email me on Irishflirtysomething at hotmail.com
February 13th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Flirty - 1
Mme T - 0
February 13th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
You can make a clock with a spud, tis true, but you’d be wiser to clock her with the spud. A large Kerr’s Pink would sort her out.
February 13th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
I’m can’t wait for the hols. Off to Spud World in Ohio I am. They even got Cara there. Imagine that! Irish bred spuds all they way over there in America. I don’t like them normally ‘cos they’re too soapy but Spud World have a new exhibit of some grown in a special way so they are flowery. The excitement. The excitement. And they have this great video about black-rot you can view in 3D.
I’d better stop - I’m losing track of time.
February 13th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Agh, I hate it when people namedrop labels like that- it’s so obnoxious. I was at a funeral (yep a funeral) in Dublin in August and my aunt started hollering “Has anyone seen my Chloe? Has anyone seen my Chloe?” I had shouted back “I don’t know about yours but there’s a fake one under that chair” before I even realised what I was saying…
February 13th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Amy - I wish!
Conan - lol, you are pun-tastic!
Primal - a fellow spud lover
Red - genius, I assume you are out of the will now?
February 13th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
lol, excellent. Patek . .now i must remember that and have a wee practice before i venture out next.
and red, excellent come back
February 13th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
She can’t be that well orf. Someone really well padded would have a personal assistant to tell them what the time was.
February 13th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
She sounds like she was jealous of you and tried to make herself feel better by highlighting her riches. You should have complimented her on the shine of the diamonds and how elegantly they drew attention away the atttention from her face.
February 13th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Towny - thanks
nick - very true
cruddy - great line!
February 14th, 2008 at 12:32 am
Beautifully executed! Advantage; Flirty.
February 14th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Yep, very few people would have heard of Cartier alright. Classy lady.
There’s nothing better than a good put-down.
February 14th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Cartier is as common as muck, Patek is much posher and me oul’ Swatch tells the time as well as any of them.
Hope you’re having a good Valentines! A blog award is better than any card.
February 14th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Cartier is as common as muck, Patek is much posher and me oul’ Swatch tells the time as good as any of them.
Hope you’re having a good Valentines! A blog award is better than any card.
February 15th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Touche! Nice comeback, kid!
February 16th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
hey flirty!
wanna review some of our flirty undies? email me and take a look at my site maybe yer pals will want to check it out too
we both come up on the first page when you google the word flirty! great minds think alike eh?
syblex
February 17th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
It was your kitchen, why didn’t you fuck the cow and her cartier out. Bitch.