Before I launch into the weekend story I need to give you the back story. In my late 20’s I landed a very jammy job that essentially involved me travelling to lots of cool cities for various conferences. Now this was extremely glamorous for around a month until I realised that airport – conference center – airport is not as exciting as it sounds (as Conortje knows). However I did managed to fit in a few good trips. One of my best junkets was to Cairo where I cleverly got some holidays and booked myself into the Mena House Oberoi. (Put it on your places to stay before you die.) Of course the major disadvantage of such trips is being on your own. So there I was on Thursday night, with the lovely Frederick Forsyth and a Chardonnay (it was the 90’s) looking out at the Pyramids.
Suddenly the waiter stopped by with a glass of Champagne. I tried to explain in my loud ‘allo, ‘allo English that I hadn’t ordered the drink, when he pointed at a pretty delicious guy at the bar e.g. he didn’t have a head like a Sphinx. As I was pleasantly merry and he was very cute in a big hunter-gatherer way I beckoned him over. So began a very dramatic weekend with my new drink buying friend.
The next day was spent visiting the Pyramids and having our first kiss inside the main tomb; as freaky as it was cool (how often do you get to kiss someone in a Pyramid!). Day meandered into night and we ended up with another kiss at my door and then to bed alone – a gentlemen to boot! Saturday was spent at the museum in Cairo. He was super sexy, extremely well educated ( American Ivy League ) and totally charming, but not in a sleazy way. Apparently he was a ‘Trader’ although I have never found out what he trades! I was madly in lust and texting everyone about my new find.
He was due to fly out that evening so we said our goodbyes. I dealt with the disappointment by frying myself beside the pool with a steady flow of “Sex on the Beachâ€? – did I mention it was the 90’s? After my 3rd cocktail the waiter arrived over with a Champagne. I smiled wryly (drunkenly) at the difference in getting my second Champagne of the weekend, when the waiter pointed over to a gentleman at the pool bar – ‘The Trader’. Shocked doesn’t begin to cover it. ‘The Trader’ had changed his flights so we could spend more time in Cairo.
Now this all sounds very Mills and Boon until you realise that I was slightly ahead on the drinks front. ‘The Trader’ gallantly tried to catch up but to no avail. Six hours later we were having a MASSIVE drunken argument over a too friendly Belly Dancer. We parted on less than civil terms at around 3am. Bizarrely we stayed in contact for the next year and met up in ever more exotic cities. The pattern was always the same, great day out, too much drink ending in a massive row. Apparently the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. We were both clinically insane. Eventually for the sake of my little remaining sanity I broke contact and went cold Turkey on ‘The Trader’. 10 years without any contact and just before Christmas he poked* me – on Facebook.
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*Thanks to IsItJustMe for the Facebook Lingo
Assuming you are very drunk, in a dark room and squinting - a lot. Email me on Irishflirtysomething at hotmail.com
February 21st, 2008 at 6:48 am
To poke or not to poke that is the question, in the middle of the night, it’s sometimes a little rude, but on facebook I suppose it’s easy enough to get away with
Sometimes though I reckon the past is best left there…
February 21st, 2008 at 7:20 am
OOh, I am glad the original end is no longer The Real End- that would have been a tad disappointing. Looking forward to hearing what happens next.
February 21st, 2008 at 10:10 am
Paul - the problem with poking is that you never what happens afterwards.
Red - Real end??
February 21st, 2008 at 10:51 am
I’m addicted to your blog. Need to know what happens next!!!
February 21st, 2008 at 10:53 am
you have to write a book, it’d be amazing! I kind of agree with paul about leaving the past in the past, but then again the trader sounds rather exciting . . sigh . . .
February 21st, 2008 at 12:10 pm
yeah your blog is brilliant, you’ve done so many things, keep writing moooore x
February 21st, 2008 at 12:46 pm
I only started reading your blog last week after seeing it on the Irish Blog Awards shortlist (I’m slow to catch on to these things..) but I think it’s great. Anxiously awaiting the next installment of The Trader. How come I never meet Traders..
February 21st, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I recently found two X’s on Facebook aswell. The world is surely becoming a smaller place!
February 21st, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Oh, traders, bad news I would say, Flirty. They just invest other people’s money to make huge killings for themselves (or some mega-bank). The regular rows sound like bad news too. Be cautious - be very cautious (I assume something’s still going on here). Love the definition of insanity btw.
February 21st, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I love the judicious passage of time you allow before writing these occasions up. Without getting ahead of things storywise… have you ever considered not drinking in these circumstances?
February 21st, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Just - thanks, hope it worth the wait!
Towny - thanks but can just about blog! Trader is/was sigh!!
Cruddy - thanks!
Janey - consider yourself lucky or head to Cairo
Quick - not always a good thing
Nick - traders do require a health warning, definition not mine but I use it a lot.
Conan - was wondering when that would pop up. We did try not drinking but something would always go pear shaped, generally me…
February 21st, 2008 at 3:27 pm
You could keep things a lot sweeter if you just stopped the date at the point of argument, then go home and throw virtual facebook haggis’ at each other until your next meeting…
February 21st, 2008 at 5:45 pm
What happens next refers to what happened in Italy on the Clean Weekend. Was it the same as the other times? What happened that required you to recover?
February 21st, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Soo what’d you do??? Have you met him…are you going to meet him…is he still cute?..am I going too fast?
February 22nd, 2008 at 12:35 pm
i should really read this blog back to front rather than front to back! keep it up, as entertaining as ever!!
February 22nd, 2008 at 3:50 pm
By Real End I meant that the story is no longer over. Does that make any sense? That there hasn’t in fact been a real end yet…ok I’m going to shut up.
February 22nd, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Oooh dont leave us hanging over the weekend - spill the beans…!
February 23rd, 2008 at 1:13 am
Just found your blog, as I’m neww to the blog world. Fantastic! I shall become an avid reader!!!!
February 23rd, 2008 at 7:40 am
I don’t like him.
But I am terrifically turned on by the concept of people throwing haggis at each other.
For what it’s worth.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
The best hols are to be had on your own, you meet great ppl and have great adventures that if you went with a gang of mates you’d have never had. Anything that forces u out of your comfert zone is good.