Last Friday was spent in the UK doing busy executive type activities. It’s been a while since I’ve been there for work, so I had forgotten the golden rule of never flying from London on a Friday afternoon, particularly when you are due to go on a date that evening!
After a variety of mishaps I landed in Dublin 3 hours late. My original plan of going home to get ready was abandoned and instead I got a cab straight to Joseph’s house. ( Carpenter guy, with great arms, who spilt drink on me in the pub before xmas ) He lives in one of those sandwich estates that just about qualify under postal law for a nice address.
Nice Area – New Development – Bad area
By the time I arrived at his house I was totally gagging for a drink, so we skipped the normal:
What would you like to do?
I don’t mind what would you like to do?
No seriously it’s up to you………….
Rather than risk another form of transport we went to his local – the batch side of the sandwich. Keep in mind that I am wearing my uber power suit and don’t fuck with me heels. I realised what a mistake it was when I stepped inside the pub. If “Shameless� ever need a new set this would be the number one option. Joseph kindly offered to go to the bar as I wasn’t sure my Choos would make it there and back. Chances are I would be found hours later stacked on cement blocks with my handbag burnt out. I asked Joseph to get me a wine - Pinot Grigio ( what was I thinking ). Five minutes later he arrived back with no wine.
‘They don’t have the wine you wanted’ - Joseph
‘Ok – what do they have?’ - me
‘Medium’ - Joseph
‘Medium what?’ - me
‘Medium wine’ - Joseph
‘Is that the size or the type?’ - me
‘I’m not sure’ - Joseph
‘Grand I’ll have the medium then and make it a large one’ - me
Many medium ones later and I was fit for nothing large or small, which I suspect is where the wine got its name.
Assuming you are very drunk, in a dark room and squinting - a lot. Email me on Irishflirtysomething at hotmail.com
March 9th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Ya gotta laugh;) I did;)
A large medium, I love it;)
Joseph the carpenter; if you married him that would make you Merry, eh sorry, ment Mary;)
March 9th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Only discovered your blog recently have been lauging and crying since. I’m happily married to a divine woman and cant believe that its that hard to find a nice guy, please tellme your exaggerating,
On a side note a mate of mine once took a slightly snobbish woman to a downmarked bar the decore was wrong the ambiance was wrong every thing was wrong. He asked what she wanted to drink was told “wine” to which he made the brilliant response “W(h)ine with or without the “h”
March 9th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
An exchange earlier today:
Me: What wines do you have?
Barman: Red or white flavour.
March 9th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Pino wha’?
March 9th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
Well, someone has to ask. You were fit for nothing large or small - what could you possibly be referring to?
March 10th, 2008 at 12:50 am
Like Fraggle I am a newcomer to your blog. I have to tell you, some of your posts have made me laugh out loud
I’ll be back ;p
March 10th, 2008 at 7:07 am
I only discovered your blog ages ago.
Are you saying the chippy didn’t get to do any hammering that night?
March 10th, 2008 at 7:21 am
Ah, Sneezy beat me to a nailing joke.
If you walked to the bar in Choos in a joint like that you might well find you’d impaled several fag ends and a mouse on your heels by the time you got back to your seat.
Apart from the bar though, what was the fella like?
March 10th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Bloody hell everyone is on form with comments today!!!!!!!!!
Ellen - well at the rate I’m going I will be the virgin mary
Fraggle - welcome and thanks, am totally stealing the whine line, brilliant
Yvonne - guess it’s an irish thing
Epona - you more of a sauv blanc?
Nick - wood
Sandra - thanks!
Primal - you are quick today!
Sam - cute but not seeing the longterm.
March 10th, 2008 at 11:03 am
Did you get a new job?
He has great arms though, you can’t underestimate great arms.
March 10th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Sam - in a joint like that? Pun intended??
March 10th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I wonder if that’s the same bar that offered to mix some red and some white to give my friend the glass of rose she ordered…
March 10th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
lol, hilarious. completely agree about the friday afternoon. i’d rather go early saturday!
i think i’ve been to that place . . shudder. i drank red wine though, they ran out of white the previous year! and i use the term wine loosely, defo could have stripped back woodowkr on the bar stools with it
March 10th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
I like a nice organic Chilean red. I don’t think they’d serve that in the average spit-and-sawdust.
Save the nice wines for cosy nights in with Joseph. It’s hard to find a good man with strong arms - hold on to him!
Carpenters are a lot more useful than doctors.
March 10th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
I was in the wilds of, um, Dorset, last year and due to me being designated driver and all that asked for a mineral water only to be told that “we don’t have that stuff around here”. They were happy to charge me a quid for a glass of tap though, the buggers.
March 10th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Haha, I love Shameless, it reminds me of my hometown. These pubs still exist so as to keep the shell-suit in action.
March 10th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Caro - just a bit of consulting, arms are fab!
Cath - nooooooooo
Towny - worried at how common the wine issues are.
Epona - he does have benefits
Jayne - what, bizarre.
Cruddy - it’s a whole other world - thank god.
March 11th, 2008 at 12:11 am
ha ha - the post was funny but the comments are hilarious - I suspect you’ll be proof reading to make sure there’s no double entendres abuse in future - they all have their mind in the gutter - funny ol’ place the gutter!
March 11th, 2008 at 1:52 am
I like the whiff of a burnt out handbag
March 11th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Priceless
March 11th, 2008 at 11:03 am
Quick - comments are ALWAYS the best part of any post
Granny - oh dear what are you doing up the mountains
Con - don’t they have medium in the netherlands?
March 11th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
So, you’ve had Saw 1 and Saw 2, will there be a Saw 3?
But you’d much rather be in a one-off rom-com with a happy ending than in a successful horror franchise, wouldn’t you?