A strange thing has started to happen in Dublin. Words that 12 months ago would never have been whispered in polite company, like Aldi and Lidl, are now being said loudly and in public.

Apparently we are all tightening our belts and it has nothing to do with the new personal trainer at David Lloyds. Even my sister, (whose definition of economy is getting a taxi rather than wasting shoe leather by walking in her Louboutin’s), has started to skimp. On Sunday we went on our first shopping to Lidl.

Now we’re obviously not the only ones to downgrade as the car park was like Ballsbridge Motors, which was a bit challenging as those spaces are not designed for SL’s. (Primal did reference this phenomenon months ago, but I assumed he was joking.)

Inside the supermarket it was a dazzling mix of social classes. Who knew that a German retailer could be the catalyst for such social integration? Some customers were obviously more experienced than others, you could tell by their full baskets. The newbie’s would generally be pushing around a gigantic trolley containing a jar of jam and absolutely no wine. (You have to draw the line somewhere).

After 30 minutes and extensive use of language skills, we managed to half fill the basket. Despite the multitude of products the bill came to less than €20. Who knew you could buy food so cheaply?

One week later we still haven’t eaten anything, but we both agreed it was great value.
.
.
PS – Twenty did a post on this topic, which is shorter and funnier, but as I had already written mine I was determined to post.

Well Dr McRide called over this weekend to pick up the last of his stuff (my ex-flatmate who turned into a raving alco and druggie). Being the brave and mature individual I spent most of the time hiding in my bedroom, only emerging to get the key back.

Now I accept my behaviour may have been a little petty, but it was completed trumped by that of the good doctor. A man who spent countless years training to help others did the following:

Cut the NTL cable to the TV
Technically he did pay for digital TV to be installed, but not sure what use half a cable will be - the rest is still screwed into the wall socket.

Changed the Light Bulbs
Removed the working light bulb from the living room and swapped it with the blown one in his room.

ESB Bill
Made me take a reading for the last 3 weeks as he didn’t trust my estimate – actually bill was twice my estimate - ha, ha, ha!

But the ultimate pettiness …………….

REMOVING THE SALT CRYSTALS FROM THE SALT CELLAR*

Now this is a guy who I really used to like. In fantasy flirty land I had names for our first born children (Sean and Sophie). But less than 12 months later this is how things ended. Proving that I am a crap judge of character and perhaps being single and living alone is sometimes the better option.
.
.

*I really, really wish I was making this up.

I was on the phone to Amy tonight (get well soon), giving her the low down on Garda Nick. We went through the standard questions:

Where’s he from?

What does he do?

What does he look like?

And then a slight variation from the norm.

Does he have hair ?

Happy be the day when that question was:

What colour is his hair?

*sigh* getting old sucks.

I had date number 3 with Garda Nick at the weekend, everything seems to be going ok (now that he’s wearing closed toe shoes). On one of my numerous trips back from the loo to check my make-up and text update friends I got stopped by a bloke. ( it’s like they know you’re not single any more )

“Wow, you’re the image of that actress” - random bloke.

“Me, really?” - I smiled knowingly, while trying to look curious.

“The one with the big hair” - random bloke getting increasing animated.

“It’s probably only the hair we have in common” - me.

“No you’ve the same face and everything, I just can’t think of her name, she’s married to another actor” - random bloke.

“Do you mean Nicole Kidman?” - me, trying hard not to grin ear to ear.

“No, the one that’s in Sex and the City – Sarah Parker or something like that” - random bloke.

He thought I looked like Sarah Jessica Parker! Old horse face herself, winner of the most unattractive woman in the world award from GQ magazine!

I gave him the glare of death and stomped back to my seat filled with rage and descending depression. My mood was not improved when Garda Nick looked up, saw me coming and said:

“Why the long face?”

Some nights you should just stay in.